I wanna bring you to show and tell
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
being pregnant is like rehab
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize