we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
