guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
