mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Congratulations! We have a period
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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