You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize