____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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