what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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