'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She made me pour olive oil on her.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
