Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
