I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just threw up on my dentist
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
