I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i believe in u and ur pee
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