i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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