just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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