Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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