I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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