you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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