I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
