I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She bit a glass in half.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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