Me. At least after what I've been through.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
