Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
