I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Watching her eat just hurts me
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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