Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
