But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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