Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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