talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
