sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
