Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
