Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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