How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
