matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
