i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
