Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
