So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
