My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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