Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
