Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
