i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize