Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
