No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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