It's Friday. Sex?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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