Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

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(208): View more from Idaho

She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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(270): View more from Kentucky

So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(912): View more from Georgia

She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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(972): View more from Texas

Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

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(212): View more from New York

Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?

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(975): View more from Missouri

All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."

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