who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.