Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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