Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr
  Replies (1) Good night (3733) Bad night (1522)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants http://tfl.nu/4te8
  Replies (6) Good night (2128) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4793) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1590) Bad night (6362)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/8wsa
  Replies (24) Good night (1481) Bad night (4383)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65
  Replies (8) Good night (4252) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

  (805): View more from California

  What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated. (805): What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes. http://tfl.nu/bk6e
  Replies (6) Good night (2995) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1657) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself http://tfl.nu/vx7o
  Replies (8) Good night (1047) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (682): You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed. http://tfl.nu/c6kp
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents. http://tfl.nu/mt2r
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise (802): Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence. http://tfl.nu/7axp
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here! http://tfl.nu/1ha2
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (552)

Randomize