Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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