More tranny stories later!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
