that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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