who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
