your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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