If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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