Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
