Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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