would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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