doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
