Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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