Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
