is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I checked into jail on foursquare
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she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
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five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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