forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
