Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
