Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
