Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
