your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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