oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
