is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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