I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
