A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
