BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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