Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
