He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
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I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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